Something's Come Undone
by LezLioness
Summary: AU: Famous singer Karma Ashcroft finds herself in rehab after an embarrassing incident at her last concert. While there she meets a mysterious woman that both scare and fascinate her as she traverses on the most challenging journey she's ever faced. Will she be able to find her old self and return to her life of fame, or will this woman show Karma that she's never really LIVED?
1. Dirty Little Vices

**Hello Karmy lovers! This is my first fanfic ever, so please be gentle. Constructive criticism is more than welcome and I would really appreciate some feedback so I'd know whether to continue with the story or not. Thanks! =)

-I do not own any Faking It characters.

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**CHAPTER ONE**

**Dirty Little Vices**

_It was nothing she didn't already know, but it felt damn good to be reminded. They loved her. If cheers were the sole indication of true success, then the roaring crowd in front of her was her empire. They were eating her up like she was going scarce and she loved it. That voice, that smile, those moves—she was the unattainable fantasy for men and women alike. Tonight had been one of her most awaited concerts, selling out on the first day of sales. It piled on the pressure to make this night one they'll never forget. And she did. She gave it all—her heart and soul. She could hear them yelling their "I love yous" and "Marry mes," reaching out on their tiptoes just for the chance to lightly graze a finger. She blew kisses and teased them with her perfect, pearly-white smile. As she walked up to the edge of the stage she held her arms out to her sides, basking in the energy that her fans were emanating. Inhaling it like she does her favorite powered pastime in the dressing room. It was amazing. She felt like she was flying._

_ Suddenly the lights turned hazy and the faces in the crowd started to blend together. She felt a wave a nauseous flow through her making her body buckle and lean forward. She wasn't flying; she was falling. Falling off the stage in a daze that felt like someone had kicked her legs from under her. Falling off her throne, and hitting rock bottom._

Karma Ashcroft's rise to fame had kicked off like an unstoppable flame. In less than two years she was topping the charts and selling out concerts like she was the messiah of pop music. But like anything that's quick to catch fire, it's quick to burn out. She never thought the pressure of fame would be her breaking point, but then again she never in her life had dreamt that all this would happen so fast. One minute her agent had her giving a live performance for the heads at _Hester Records_, and the next she was signed, recording, and scheduled as an opening act with only three months until show time. Luckily Karma had spent her whole life writing, composing and preparing for her big shot. So when she was chucked in the lion's den, she was armed and ready.

Only two years later and Karma found herself in a hospital bed with a broken arm and a bruised ego. The media had been spreading the news of her fall literally seconds after it happened. _You've got to love social media_, she thought. She turned off the TV and chucked the remote onto the couch across the room. She was tired of seeing the replay of her nosedive off stage and into the crowd below. A few fans had gotten injured while breaking her fall, but that's nothing that a few autographed merchandises, and free "meet and greet" tickets hadn't fixed. Not to mention the whole spiel that her agent had given them about how they had saved her life and she was eternally grateful. The thought made her scoff, and she wished she could call her stylist slash best friend, Shane, to bring her purse. She had a little vial in a secret pocket containing just the pick-me-up she needed. A little fix and she'd be up and out of this bed in no time.

As if reading her mind her agent barges into the room, fuming. He wore a blue, fitted suit with his hair perfectly gelled and styled like he had just walked out of a GQ magazine. He was a very handsome man, and looked like a much older version of David Beckham. Always ready for paparazzi, he made sure his look was flawless. Despite his constant attention to himself, though, he wasn't narcissistic. Just a man sure of himself. "Heyyyy Marcus," Karma sing-songed with an apologetic smile on her face.

"That little stunt you pulled"—he was always straight to the point—"has us in such a shit with the record label, and I'm literally holding on to your contract by the skin of my teeth." Karma rolled her eyes at him. "Oh yea, because fainting off the stage was exactly the concert closer I was planning for. Stop overreacting. We'll hold a press conference and say that I was just exhausted from all the rehearsing for the concert. Which was _fucking_ amazing, might I add." Marcus took the seat next to Karma's bed and ran his hands through his perfectly styled hair causing loose strands to fall over his face—things just got serious. "Exhaustion? Are we forgetting that your little 'secret drug addiction' isn't a secret anymore? Dammit, Karma, the label is already looking for an excuses to cut you after those pictures leaked of your wild VIP partying. You know the label has a strict image and a low tolerance policy. This was supposed to be our chance to remind them of the Karma they fell in love with!"

Karma cringed remembering the pictures of her and her gorgeous, model boyfriend Liam Booker all over each other surrounded by drunken friends and a table littered with cocaine and liquor. Not her best cover story. "I'm sorry, Marcus. I fucked up. This fucking concert was just so much, and all the damn rehearsing and the pressure… I needed something to help me through it. I swear it was just one line." She did her best puppy eyes hoping to soften his demeanor. Marcus placed Karma's hand in his and gave it a little squeeze. He's done this many times throughout the years, and it always sends a sense of comfort through her. She was only eighteen when she met Marcus and the professional spark between them was instantaneous. It had been a tough road before her chance at _Hester Records_, and she'd never seen someone besides her parents fight so hard to help make her dreams come true. He was like a second father to her and was one of the very few people that she trusted whole-heartedly. Though, lately, she's been having a hard time listening to him. Cocaine has a tendency to scream louder than everyone else.

"You know I can tell when you're lying, so I don't understand why you still insist on doing so," he said with a stern expression.

"Okay, so maybe it was _two_ lines." She sighed, removing her hand from his grip. "What are we going to do?" The news was already spreading like wildfire. There's no way this could be swept under the rug.

"I spoke to the label, and they've given us an ultimatum," he responded. Karma leans back against the bed and stares up at the ceiling. How did her life spiral down so fucking fast? "You have to check into rehab," he continues. "You'll do a 90-day program, that if completely successfully…will automatically extend your contract another two years."

"Wait, really?!" Karma shouted. There was always a silver lining.

Marcus gave her a wide smile. "They're not stupid, Ashcroft. They know you're a big hit, and the fans _love_ you. Like you said, last night was a fuck of a show. But there are still rules you need to follow. You're actions don't only affect _your_ life." He got up and started towards the door, cellphone in hand, ready to make the necessary calls. "They already have a facility lined up with a staff they trust to give them honest reports. You'll check-in immediately after you're discharged from the hospital. I'll have Shane pack what you need, and he'll pick you up and drive you there." Before walking out he turns to Karma and waves a scolding finger at her in his best "father" tone, "Don't fuck this up."

Karma hadn't slept a wink that night thinking about what was in store for the next 3 months. It all sounded like great news as it was coming out of Marcus's mouth, until she realized that going to rehab meant she'd have to give up her vice. _Jesus, Karma, what the fuck did you think happens in rehab?_

She called Liam after Marcus left to let him know what was going on. She always felt safe with him. Like he'd protect her from anything. Unfortunately, she couldn't take him with her, but he'd made her promise to call him everyday, and that he'd come see her when she was allowed visitors. She knew he wouldn't always be available, but she loved that he wanted to try anyway. Liam was just starting out his career, so Karma tried to be a laid back and non-clingy girlfriend. If anyone understood the hustle of making it, it was her.

She'd met Liam about a year and a half ago at a charity event. He was there with his agent, who was also an old friend of Marcus's. His boyish good looks and Texan charm won her over in a matter of minutes. At the end of the night, they exchanged numbers and soon enough they started dating. Karma would take him to events, which was a great way for his face to enter the media, and they'd stay out late at the after parties. They were young, and they wanted to enjoy every minute of it. That's what started the whole dance with the devil. One night a friend of theirs pulled out a little sample and dangled it in between his fingers in their direction. Liam looked at her to gage her reaction. An intoxicated Karma shrugged not wanting to be labeled as the puss musician who was too afraid to party hard. What harm could one hit do, right? Right.

They started off only using at parties—just a small dose to heighten their intoxication levels—but as with all addictions, your tolerance levels go up, and so does your dosage. It started getting worse halfway through her first tour. Karma was drained and missed her boyfriend so damn much while on the road. She would drink herself to sleep, and take a hit in the morning to wake herself up. Marcus noticed the change in her behavior, but chocked it up to exhaustion and a much needed vacation. There was no way that _his_ Karma could be involved in anything dangerous. It wasn't until those horrible pictures circulated the internet that he felt his heart shatter. He hired some major damage control to try and clean up the mess; had her go on record to say that she was just drinking and that the recreational drugs were not hers. _Lies_. All lies, and he knew it. But now, this fainting-off-the-stage situation is only going to serve as affirmation of what happens behind the scenes. Which is what brings her to her only salvation. Rehab.


	2. When Dreaming Ends

*Hello! Here's Chapter 2, _finally_! I was being very particular with the pace and tone I wanted the story to have, so it took longer than I expected to get this out. I promise chapter 3 won't take so long.

As always, feedback would be awesome and HIGHLY appreciated! =) Enjoy!

-I do not own any Faking It characters.

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**CHAPTER TWO**

**When Dreaming Ends**

"Yes, mom, I understand." Karma had been on the phone with her mother for about 20 minutes now, much to Shane's dismay. He expected this ride to be some last-minute bestie-time, and not a soul-cleansing session on the way to the rehab center. He loved Karma's mom and thought her tree-hugger antics were hilarious, but sometimes it could get suffocating.

"I'll call you as soon as I get settled," she sighed. "Mom, I have to go. I promise I'll let you do as many aura-cleansing mantras as you want when you visit." She gave Shane a "kill me now" look that made him chuckle. "I love you, too, bye."

"That was intense," he teased. Karma laughed and lay back against the seat. Her parents always had a way of making her feel smothered and incredibly loved all at once. They were disappointed to find out about her addiction, and scolded her for not communicating about her troubles, but they were there to support her through anything. As much as she complained about their hippie ways, she wouldn't trade them for the world.

"Turn left at 300 feet," blurted the GPS, making Karma jump in her seat. They were almost at their destination and she could feel her chest start to tighten. It had been over 24-hours since her last fix and she could already feel her skin crawling from the craving. _Can I really go through this?_ _It's been one day and I'm ready to scratch my skin off. How can I handle ninety? God, I wish Liam was here._

Shane noticed her uneasiness and turned the radio on to distract her. After years of working so closely with Karma, he could read her body language like a book.

"It sucks that I won't be able to call you after my date tonight," he said, sending his sweetest pout in Karma's direction as he fiddled with the tuner. "It's with this _cute_ guy named Pablo, and I swear, Karma, I feel like he's finally 'the one.' " He let out a soft, happy sigh and settled for the station playing Bruno Mars's _Locked Out of Heaven_.

"You said that about Ben, and then ran out of his apartment as soon as he said the "L" word," Karma said, rolling her eyes. "And how about the guy before him who asked you to move in after dating only three weeks? Wasn't he the 'Romeo to your Juliet?' " Karma "gracefully" placed her hands under her chin as comfortably as her cast would allow, and bat her eyelashes at him. He gave her a disapproving look as he swatted at her with his right hand. "You dropped him and found Ben in the span of 4 hours!" she finished with a laugh.

"Doubt all you want, but you'll see. You'll be stuck married to a man who abuses his face with Botox to retain his handsome youth, and I'll be married to the most caring man in the world, who saves stray animals on his days off, and will be the youngest person to win a Nobel Peace Prize," Shane defended with a cheeky grin.

"Yea, well, I'll make sure your wedding invitation gets lost in the mail," she teased. Karma knew Shane wasn't Liam's biggest fan. His exact words were, "never trust a straight man with a pretty face." She learned to deal with it and take his relationship with Liam as it was. At least they had the decency to keep it civil around each other. Karma was in love with Liam, and Shane loved her enough to respect that.

She leaned over and turned off the radio. "Hey!" he yelled, clicking it back on.

"I hate that song!"

"Sorry, but I left all my Karma CDs in the other car, you diva!"

They pulled into the parking lot of the Soleil Recovery Center (SRC)—one of the best addiction-fighting centers in California. There were no paparazzi in sight, and Karma sent a quick "thanks" up to the heavens. _Hester Records really knows how to keep it low key_, she thought_._

It wasn't too large of a facility and it had a very homey feel with its green lawns and beautifully kempt flowers. Karma could see the entrance to a huge garden at the side of the building, and immediately knew she'd spend a lot of time writing there. After all, she'll need new material for when her contract gets extended. _Okay, this isn't so bad. It's like a little vacation. You can get through this_.

They got out of the car and made their way inside. The lobby was very modern and clean, decorated with colorful, potted plants. All this nature was starting to remind Karma of her parents, and it brought a slight sense of calm to her very tense posture. There was an older woman at the reception desk with blonde hair and soft green eyes. She smiled in their direction as she got off the phone. "Hello there, welcome to the Soleil Recovery Center. How can I help you today?

Shane looked at her name-tag, and wrapped his right arm around Karma pulling her into his side. "My dear Susan, I need you guys to give my little princess here some TLC and whip her back into shape." He gave her a loud kiss on the forehead, and Karma shrugged him off with a laugh.

"I'm Karma Ashcroft. My agent, Marcus James, has made some arrangements for my stay."

"Ah, yes!" she said, remembering the registration. Susan picked up the phone, again, and called for a resident assistant to come retrieve Karma's bags and escort her to her room. "Just a few minutes and we'll get you all settled, honey."

Karma gave her a stiff nod and turned to Shane, pulling him in for a hug. "So I'll sneak out the back and meet you in the parking lot in 15?" she joked with a tremble in her voice.

"You'll be fine, sweetie. You were happy and talented way before the drugs. Hopefully this place can serve to finally knock some sense into that thick skull of yours," he replied, hugging her tighter.

"I get it. I've been a bad girl, and now I'm on time-out," she scoffed, not wanting this to turn into a lecture.

"Don't get sassy with me." He smacked her ass as he let go of the hug. "Anyway, before I head out"—he stuck out his hands expectantly—"cell phone and purse, please."

"Oh, come on!" she whined. She knew there would be restrictions, but her phone was like her life. She needed it!

"Sorry, Marcus's orders," he said motioning "give it here" with his hands.

"Okay, fine, just let me—"

"Now."

Karma slumped her shoulders and gave her things over. "No visiting hours for you," she huffed.

"Like you could go ninety days without seeing this face," he joked, giving her his signature, charming smile. She softened up knowing he was right. He had been her guru since the day they met on the set of her first video. She was a nervous wreck that day, and Shane was the only one who was able to calm her down. He gave her a pep talk and made her look so beautiful. She would always cherish that day as one of her best memories.

"I'm really sorry Liam couldn't be here," he said with a concerned expression. He didn't like the guy, but he knew she was happiest when he was around.

"It's okay. I know he has a lot of things lined up and has that big meeting with the people at Marc Jacobs next week. He's been working really hard for a chance like this." She hoped Liam was going to surprise her before she left the hospital this morning, but had to settle for a FaceTime session on her iPhone instead. He was scheduled for a few "go sees"—a model's appointment to see a potential client—and couldn't make it. Just seeing that apologetic smile of his made her forget all her troubles. He wished her luck and blew kisses at her till she was blushing like a schoolgirl.

"Miss Ashcroft." Karma's thoughts were interrupted by a deep male voice. He was a tall brunette with a slight Spanish accent, and looked like he spent every free second at the gym. "I'm Mateo. I'll be escorting you to your room."

With teary eyes, Karma gave Shane one last, tight hug. "Call me as soon as you get some good gossip on all the people here. The darker the better," he whispered in her ear. She let out a hard laugh and wiped her eyes.

"See you later, gorgeous," he winked and made his way out. She inhaled deeply trying to calm her nerves. She didn't need to have an anxiety attack on her first day.

Mateo gave Karma a quick tour of the place as he carted her luggage to her room. There was a music room, much to her delight; an art room; a modest-sized library; cooking and dance classes; and an outdoor swimming pool on the other end of the garden she saw earlier. The place was surprisingly spacious and beautiful. Karma made a mental note to have Marcus pass on her thanks to the label for giving her another chance, and for not sticking her in some hellhole. She'd work out the proper wording later.

As they neared the cafeteria, Karma's mouth began to water. She hadn't had breakfast yet and the smells coming from the room were amazing. "The cafeteria is open from 8am to 11:30pm and serves three meals a day. The self-serve dessert bar on the left wall is open from 12pm to 11pm," Mateo explained. "It's 12:45 now, so lunch will be served in 15 minutes."

They rounded the corner and started towards an open-spaced recreation area. There was a large flat-screen TV with couches and comfortable-looking chairs arranged around it; a few game systems hooked up to a smaller TV at the opposite end of the room; and lots of board and card games neatly arranged on shelves with plenty of tables and chairs to play them on.

There were only a few people in the area, and they were all gathered around the flat-screen. A much older, dark-skinned woman with short, peppered hair and a full frame was sat on the couch closest to the TV. Slouched next to her was a man, probably in his late-twenties, with long, curly-blonde hair. He had a long goatee, which you could tell he was proud of by the way he rubbed the length of it, and looked like he had been wearing the same shirt for days. A pale redhead sat in a chair behind them, intensely biting her nails like she was punishing them for growing, and a few others were sprinkled about, not very interested in the movie.

They happened to be playing one of Karma's all-time favorites—_Moulin Rouge_. She could belt out every song, and recite every part, which is probably why everyone hated watching it with her. Shane even threw the DVD out the window during one of their movie nights because she wouldn't let him hear anything. _How could you _not_ sing out to this?!_ She felt herself getting sucked into the movie already.

A young, slender, blonde, carrying a large plate of donuts suddenly walked in front of the TV causing Karma to break her trance. "Goatee guy" sucked his teeth from the couch and yelled obscenities at her about making him miss his favorite part.

Unfazed by the howler, the blonde plopped herself on one of the empty couches towards the back. She began to devour her tray of sweets almost immediately, savoring each doughy ringlet like it was the last time she'd ever have them. Karma found herself amused by the woman's behavior. She seemed to be in her own little world and didn't give a damn how much strawberry frosting got on her chin.

Just then, the blonde looked up from her plate and caught Karma's stare. Furrowing her eyebrows, she made an exaggerated gesture of looking behind her to see what could possibly be so interesting. Confirming there was nothing there, she turned back in confusion and slowly started to chew, again, wondering why the hell this woman was looking at her. She grabbed another donut and slowly shoved it in her mouth, all the while not breaking eye contact.

Sensing the blonde's eyes on her, Karma quickly diverted her gaze, not realizing she had been staring. Mentally kicking herself for looking like a creep, she gave Mateo a slight head nod signaling that they could move on. As they made their way towards the bedrooms, she risked a quick look back at the blonde to see that her attention was already back on the TV and the sugary treasures on her lap.

After thanking Mateo for ushering her to the room, Karma let herself fall back on her bed. Glaring at the ceiling had become some kind of weird tradition for her every time she got to whatever hotel she'd be staying during her travels. It was like her mind would take a mini vacation before she propelled herself into the mayhem that was the day's events.

When she finally came to, Karma rolled onto her side and caught sight of a large, yellow envelope on her dresser labeled WELCOME PACKET. Inside was a small book on the facility rules—mostly about respecting other people's personal space and the consequences for the different levels of misconduct; a sheet detailing the times the meals were served and the "hours of operation" for the telephone booths they passed on their way to the cafeteria; and a schedule specifying what days and times she'd see her psychologist, Samuel Crawford—_Oh, Joy_.

Karma spent the next few hours unpacking her things, and making calls to her parents, Shane, and Liam. It felt so good to hear their voices that she had to keep from bursting into tears throughout each conversation. She has spent the last years of her life surrounded by tons of people _everyday_, and now here she was, isolated from the world.

Emotionally drained and physically aching, Karma decided she'd skip dinner and just call it a night. This was the first time in over a year that she'd gone this long without a hit of cocaine, and it was making her extremely anxious. She thought back to when this all started and her spiral into addiction. She made such a mess for herself, and now she's drowning with no one to save her. How was she supposed to keep this up when she got out? Liam was still using, and if she was going to be with him, how could she keep herself from relapsing? Granted, he didn't use as much as she did. His line of work, though also crazy, wasn't as chaotically demanding as hers. Still, she had to attend events and after parties as a young, chart-topping musician was expected to.

"What the fuck am I going to do?" She asked out loud as she lay in bed.

Feeling her eyelids growing heavy, she turned over and pressed the AM button on the alarm clock beside her bed. The sports announcers were having a heated debate on the current baseball game, and she lowered it to just above a whisper, pretending it was Shane and the rest of her entourage cracking jokes in the background instead. She closed her eyes and hummed the melody to _One Day I'll Fly Away_ from _Moulin Rouge_. It was everything she felt right now.

Soon she fell asleep, with fear and insecurity weighing heavy on her heart.


	3. This Is Your Arm On Drugs

*Hello! I hope there's still interest in this fic out there! I see a lot of views, but no feedback, which I hope doesn't mean people aren't really reading it. So let me know, guys! Your likes, your dislikes, any type of constructive criticism would be a big help! =)

**Note:** The song in this chapter is "Caged Bird" by Alicia Keys. Listening to it before reading, or during the scene would definitely help in setting the mood. Enjoy! =)

-I do not own any Faking It characters.

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE**

**This Is Your Arm On Drugs**

The past two weeks had been _pure hell_. Anxiety hit her fast and hard when she woke up the second day, and it had only gotten worse from there. The cold sweats, the restlessness, and the sudden spiral into fatigue had her so disoriented that she was locked in her room for the majority of it. She'd only gone out to make use of the bathroom, meet with Samuel, her psychologist, or grab a quick meal (which consisted of her speed-walking into the cafeteria, throwing random things onto a plate, and quickly bee-lining back to her room). Samuel told her she was actually lucky she had only been using for a little over a year. The withdrawal symptoms would've been much worse, and longer.

Initially, Karma was dreading going through therapy. With the parents she had, it was no surprise she was tired of always "sharing her feelings." After the first session, though, she actually looked forward to them. Her current physical state wouldn't let her explore the center and socialize, so she was extremely grateful for the days where she got to speak to him—even if only for an hour, three days a week. Not to mention he helped her make sense of the nightmares she was having. In her last one, which was the tamest one so far, she was under a spotlight on stage, strapped to a chair while her parents circled around her, burning rosewood incense and asking the sun God to calm her spirits—_for fuck's sake_.

In their last session, Samuel assigned her the task of finally getting some fresh air and starting an activity that'll help occupy her thoughts. She was a little reluctant at first, telling him she didn't feel ready, but he assured her it would be fine. Now here she was, staring at herself in the bathroom mirror, wishing she had at least snuck in some eyeliner.

She washed her hands and made her way out. The corridor was bright due to the sunlight pouring in from the open garden doors, making Karma squint her eyes as they adjusted to the light. The view peeking in was beautiful. "Here we go," she said to herself as she made her way toward the doors.

She spotted "Goatee Guy," who she now knew as Jimmy, making his way in from the garden. They had formally met in the cafeteria her first week when he tried, unsuccessfully, to hit on her. She was struggling to feed her rebelling body and he practically pounced on her like she was part of the menu. After that she made sure not to spend more than two minutes in the cafeteria.

He gave her a small wave and what he must've thought was a cute smirk. Karma mustered a small smile and lowered her head as she sped up her pace. In her rush to get away, she didn't notice someone coming through the doors, and bumped right into a slender body clad in a donut shirt and bacon pants.

"I'm so sorry!" she quickly apologized, steadying herself on the doorframe. She picked up the small bouquet of flowers that had fallen out of the woman's hands and held it out to her. It was the same blonde from the recreation area two weeks ago. The realization made Karma's body flood with embarrassment at the memory of her horrible first impression. She shook her head at herself and offered an apologetic smile as the blonde took the flowers in her hand. This whole rehab stay has been reverting her back to who she was in high school—clumsy, self-conscious, and horrible at making friends.

"I was trying to avoid the ogling," Karma explained. "I don't think my breasts can take such violation this early." She motioned her head in Jimmy's direction. The blonde gave a small nod and inspected her garden-picked flowers. Satisfied, she took a step to leave just as Karma started talking again.

"Those are beautiful," she said, pointing to the arrangement. "Special occasion?"

Undeterred, the blonde gave her a small shrug as she walked backwards. "Sure" was all she said before turning around.

_Well that went well_, she thought as she watched the blonde stroll away. _Two small interactions, and so far both awkward. You're ready, he said. It'll be fine, he said_. Karma mentally scoffed at her therapist's words before finally making it out to the garden. "Wow," she whispered. She took in a deep breath and felt her uneasiness melt away. _Botanical therapy for the win!_

The garden was more like a grand forest of wildflowers. So many types of plants, and so many colors! There were small openings in the bushes here and there with benches tucked into them. It was great way to enjoy a bit of nature without having to interact with anyone. As she got to the end of the garden, closer to the pool, she saw there were more benches and lawn chairs arranged in an open area. There were many people chatting, reading, listening to music on their iPods, or enjoying a cigarette. _I'd do anything for a cigarette right now._ She made a mental note to have Shane bring her a pack when he visits next week. He was so excited when Karma finally invited him that it took her out of her funk for almost a whole 5 minutes. After chastising her for taking so long, he went on and on about how much he missed her, and how crazy she must look without him there to doll her up. The conversation was so bittersweet. She couldn't wait to see him.

Karma plopped herself on one of the lawn chairs. She closed her eyes, letting the sunrays send warmth throughout her body. If she sat there long enough, she was sure she could finally get some sleep; her creepy nightmares were doing a good job of keeping her up.

"Who's the Picasso?" asked the male voice that was now blocking her sunlight.

Karma opened her eyes and looked at him perplexed. "What?"

He motioned to the cast on her arm. "Oh!" She laughed and shook her head. When Shane picked her up from the hospital for the ride to rehab, he wouldn't let her get in the car unless she let him decorate it. After about ten minutes she finally gave in, and now she dons a cast that looks like it was attacked by a five-year-old wielding crayons. He presented it as, "This is your arm"—pointing to her good arm—"and this is your arm on drugs," pointing to the scribbles on her cast. Ever so subtle, that man.

"My best friend had too much coffee."

Vincent nodded, amused. "What happened? Someone get you angry?"

"I wish it was something that bad ass," she answered with a laugh. "I fell off the stage in front of thousands of people," she cringed.

A look of realization flashed across his face. "Ah, yes! I remember seeing it on the news. Looked like a pretty hard fall." He offered a sympathetic face and held out his hand, "I'm Vincent." Karma shook it and sat up in her chair. "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you," he added.

"It's okay," she assured him. _Ugh, I really should've brought some eyeliner._

He took the seat next to her. "I'm one of the head resident assistants. You met my brother Mateo a few weeks ago." Vincent looked very similar to his brother, and even had the same accent. Less muscles, though.

"He was pretty excited to meet you. He's a big fan. He'd kill me if he know I told you, though," he continued.

Karma gave him a warm smile. "Don't worry, I won't tell. Truthfully, it feels good to hear that right now. Out there I can't even walk the streets without a mob following me, but in here, in here I can walk around naked and no one would probably notice," she confessed.

"Oh, they'll notice. But, it's nothing personal. Everyone is just caught up in his or her own world. You just need to mingle more. Actually…" He started to pat his body in search for something. "I hold a voluntary group therapy session every Saturday after lunch," he said pulling a notepad out of his back pocket and scribbling something down. "Maybe you can come by today. It'll be a great way to meet other people. And don't let the word "therapy" scare you. I know some people already don't like the _mandatory_ sessions they take. It's more of a hangout where people vent and talk about anything from their favorites to what their goals are after Soleil." He handed Karma the piece of paper with the room number and time.

"That sounds nice," she replied. "Maybe I'll swing by for a bit."

"Great!" he beamed. "I'll see you there." He excused himself and made his way around the garden to greet the others.

After lunch, and thankfully no Jimmy in sight, Karma opted for a nap instead. By the time she woke up it was almost time for dinner. She took a quick shower and threw on loose shorts, and a comfortable, emerald-colored blouse.

Making her way to the cafeteria, she decided she'd try and give Liam a call first. It was getting harder and harder to catch him at a good time.

There were five telephone booths that operated from 7am-11pm. They had nice, cushioned seats, and thick red curtains to cover the glass doors for an extra bit of privacy. If an emergency call needed to be made before or after hours, they had someone in the main office that could unlock a booth for you, if you had good reason. They created the "hours of operation" to keep people from calling anyone too early or late. Sometimes people do desperate things when they were going through withdrawal.

"Hello, you've reached Liam Booker. I'm unable to answer your call right now, but—" She hung up before the recording could finish. She'd left enough messages the past week to last him a lifetime. She was beginning to feel _very_ neglected.

No longer hungry, she made her way to the music room Mateo had shown her during the tour. She felt a bit ashamed that it took her this long to make use of it. The area was empty and for once she was grateful for the alone time. There was a piano at the head of the room, and Karma immediately made her way to it. This place was going to be her new best friend, considering her _old_ best friend was drunk on love, and could do nothing but boast about how amazing Pablo was during their calls. Not that she wasn't happy for him, but it just made her miss Liam so much more. She'd only gotten to speak to her boyfriend twice since she arrived. She knew he was busy, but all she really needed was two minutes and an "I love you."

She sat at the piano bench and softly dragged her fingers across the white keys. The guitar was usually her instrument of choice, but she had taken piano lessons simultaneously, and loved to play it when she felt under the weather. Karma hit the keys lightly, warming up her fingers. The cast on her left hand started well under her knuckles, allowing her fingers to extend with enough freedom to let her play. The sweet sounds started to fill the room, and it made Karma's heart swell. Music was her religion. Her escape. She thought back to the days when music was her _only_ drug. _If only we could turn back the hands of time._

She started to play the melody to a song she wrote back during the hustle of trying to get signed. Written almost a year before Hester gave her a deal. She started to sing, letting the notes float around her.

_**Right now I feel like a bird**_

_**Caged without a key**_

_**Everyone comes to stare at me**_

_**With so much joy and reverie**_

_**They don't know how I feel inside**_

_**Through my smile I cry**_

_**They don't know what they're doing to me**_

_**Keeping me from flying**_

She took a small pause and inhaled deeply. She'd been trying to stay strong for so long, and now her facade was cracking.

_**That's why I say that**_

_**I know why the caged bird sings**_

_**Only joy comes from song**_

_**She's so rare and beautiful to others**_

_**Why not just set her free?**_

_**So she can fly, fly, fly**_

_**Spreading her wings and her song**_

_**Let her fly, fly, fly**_

A tear made its way down her face.

_**For the whole world to see**_

Karma finally broke down. Sobs wracked through her body and she hugged herself, no longer able to pretend like everything was going to be okay. She felt like a hollow shell of her old self. No family, no friends, no fans, no boyfriend…no hope.

"Noooooooo!" Karma woke up in a sudden panic knocking her alarm clock off the nightstand. "Fuck," she said into the dark as she held her hand to her fast-beating heart. After composing herself in the music room, Karma had gone to bed to sulk in the privacy of her quarters. The tears had put her fast asleep, and now she was being catapulted back into the real world by yet another nightmare; and this one shook her to the core.

In the dream, she was in Soleil's recreation area. Liam was there, dressed in a black and white suit and wearing a top hat. He was doing weird magic tricks that were making Karma uncomfortable. For the grand finale, he opened his hand revealing a pile of cocaine. He made a fist and followed it with a pouring gesture. The cocaine spilled out of his palm like his hand held an endless supply of the powdery substance as it disappeared into thin air. After pouring for what seemed like forever, he grabbed his cloak and did a quick spin that made him vanish from the room. Suddenly, and loudly, the windows and doors also started to disappear. In a panic, Karma began running around, clawing at the walls, trying hard to break out. Soon the room was closing in on her, sending her into hysteria. That's when she jolted awake.

She got out of bed and picked up the alarm clock. The bright red numbers flashed 2:00am. _Looks like I won't be getting anymore sleep tonight. _Karma threw on a hoodie and opted for a stroll through the facility. She made her way past the garden and came to a stop by the pool. It was nice and quiet, with a bright full moon reflecting off the water. She rolled up her pajama pants to right above her knees and carefully sat at the edge of the pool, dipping her legs in the lukewarm water.

_Something has got to give_. It had already been two weeks and she was still breaking down. She didn't want to disappoint her family, especially Marcus. They've worked just as hard as she has to get her this far. Marcus was right; her actions didn't only affect _her_ life. He almost ruined his marriage once because of her. He put so much effort and time into her dream that he was lacking in his own personal life. His wife was very unhappy, and Karma herself had to talk him down from his workaholic ways. She owed him so much.

Karma sat there for a while, moving her legs around to make small ripples in the water. She was actually a very good swimmer, and couldn't wait to take her cast off and finally enjoy the pool. _Another thing to look forward to_, she reassured herself, trying to stay positive.

Feeling the fatigue return to her body, she decided it was time to head back. She placed her hands on the edge of the pool and slowly pushed herself up making sure to keep steady. In a miscalculated second, her cast gave way, making her wet feet slip just as they touched the floor.

Falling headfirst into the deep side of the pool, a terrified Karma started to thrash underwater. The combination of terror and the awkwardness of the cast prevented her from keeping any focused momentum. Seconds felt like hours as she tried, to no avail, to get closer to the wall.

Suddenly, there was a hard splash, and she could vaguely make out that someone had jumped into the pool. After a beat, she felt arms wrap around her waist and hoist her up. Karma took this opportunity to take in a huge breath before her weight brought them back down into the water. Her savior kept a strong grip on her and began to inch them closer to the ladder. She could faintly make out its silver silhouette when she started to feel them sinking lower into the pool again.

The grasp around her waist tightened once more, but instead of providing a push to the surface, it was a panicked reaction to their plummeting. This time, they were _both_ going down. The not-so-savior let go of her waist and Karma took this as an opportunity to push with her legs and briefly break the surface. She took another deep breath before dropping back in. Now a little more focused, she felt around and grabbed the person by the collar as she kicked herself towards the ladder. Finally reaching it, she wrapped her bad arm around one of the steps and anchored herself to it, while using her good one to pull the flapping body towards her. "Grab on!" she yelled.

A patch of blond hair swept across Karma's face as the slender, young woman grabbed onto the steel like it was her lifeline, which, in this case, it was. They both remained there, clutched to it like a baby to its mother. After a few cough fits and spitting-up pool water, the blonde was the first one to get out of the pool. She put her hand out and pulled Karma up, making sure not to lose her footing and send them both back into the watery abyss. As soon as Karma was safe, she turned to the blonde in a fit.

"What the fuck was that?!" She had never been that close to death, and it was currently giving her an anxiety attack.

"What?" the blonde asked, casually.

"What do you mean 'what'? Were you _purposely_ trying to kill us?!"

"Listen, calm down—"

"Don't tell me to calm down! We almost died!"

"I can't swim, alright!" she confessed, irritated. She just reacted without thinking. The reminder that she didn't know how to swim didn't register until _after_ she hit the water.

"So why the hell did you jump in?!" Karma was breathing heavy and thrashing her arms around like mad.

"You were drowning, what the fuck else was I supposed to do?"

"How about you get help?"

"You would've been gone by then! Jesus, I just reacted. I jumped in a pool, with no regards to my own life to try and save you, and you're pissed off at _me_? Are you always this fucking grateful?" She gave Karma a hard stare, daring her to challenge her again.

Karma let her words sink in and realized that she was being unfair. _She's right. Stop being a brat and get your head out of your ass, Karma._

The blonde took the brunette's silence as rudeness and just shook her head. "For fuck's sake," she muttered as she stomped around the pool and picked up a pack of cigarettes she dropped before diving in. "I'm out of here."

"No, wait!" Karma yelled out before the blonde could get too far. The blonde stopped and turned to face her. "You're right, I'm sorry." She lowered her voice and walked closer. "I was just so fucking scared. I didn't mean to react like that. Thank you, really. For trying to save me."

"Whatever happened to 'it's the thought that counts,' or does that only apply to bad gifts?"

Karma chuckled and gave a soft shrug. "I'm Karma," she offered.

The blonde hesitated before stepping closer. "Amy."

"Thank you, Amy."

She gave Karma a small nod in acknowledgment.

"What were you doing out here, anyway?" she asked Amy. "Not that I'm not happy you were," she quickly added.

Amy shifted her weight around for a minute, seemingly uncomfortable. She didn't want to think about what brought her out here. "Sometimes when I have nightmares, I come out here for a smoke or two…or five," she responded. "It calms me down a bit. I was in the garden when I heard the splash. I was curious to see who else was out here at this time, so I came over. That's when I noticed you flailing, and I figured you could use a little help."

"It would've been a _little_ more helpful if you actually _knew_ how to swim," she teased.

"Okay, I'm going to bed now."

"I'm kidding!" Karma laughed.

Amy gave her a brief smile before her face become unreadable, again. "I should go get out of these wet clothes. The last thing I need is to get sick. I'm sure you don't need that either. I'm also pretty sure you're not supposed to get that wet," she said pointing to Karma's cast.

"Fuck," said Karma, examining it.

"Good luck with that," offered the blonde as she turned on her heel. "And stay away from anything larger than a puddle!"

Back in her room, Karma was now in dry clothes and warm in her bed. Despite almost dying, the interaction with Amy left her feeling positive. Samuel and Vincent were right; she just needed something to keep her mind occupied, to mingle. Things had initially gotten off pretty awkward with Amy, but now there was potential for her to have a friend in this place, and hopefully not feel so lonely.

She turned to her side and wrapped the blanket tightly around her. After whispering a "goodnight" to the picture frames of her loved ones on the nightstand, she let herself relax into the mattress. Karma was determined, now more than ever, to change things around. The fact that she survived drowning _twice_ in one night didn't escape her. She had a purpose to live for. And for the first time since she got to Soleil, no tears were shed to sleep.


End file.
